From Andrea Vacca, Esq.:
Step One (1) – Hire a bulldog lawyer who will:
tell you she’ll get you everything that you want…
tell you that you have a winning case…
tell you she settles most of her cases – but will file an action for divorce before ever trying to reach an agreement outside of court…This will ensure that you pay thousands of dollars in motion fees asking the judge to make temporary decisions such as how the bills will be paid and when the children will be sleeping in your home. It will also ensure that you and your spouse are adversaries for the next couple of years and will need lawyers to do most of the communicating between the two of you.
Step Two (2) – Don’t explore mediation or collaborative divorce: Consider this nightmare scenario: You and your spouse being guided by professionals who are committed to helping you communicate effectively to resolve serious issues. Why would you want that? What will you have to add to the conversation when your friends complain about how badly their divorces are going?
Step Three (3) – Fight for your principles: Principles are the best way to make sure you spend exorbitant amounts of money on expert and lawyers fees. Principles are also a great way to prevent long-term compromise that will make sense a few years down the road.
Step Four (4) – Listen to the Greek Chorus: The Greek Chorus is always there to help set you back, whether it’s by trash talking your spouse or making you second guess all your choices – and the advice of the professionals who are trying to help you get through this process. By far the wisest members of the Greek Chorus are other people going through divorce. Generally, the nastier their divorce, the more advice they offer. They are obviously doing something right.
Step Five (5) – Insist on having your day in court: By having your day in court you’re going to tell your story to the judge. You want that judge to hear everything that your spouse did wrong, and rightfully so. You will have years to hone your argument and gather more evidence, in addition to the opportunity to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on legal and expert fess while you wait for that special day.
Read more at New York Lawyer Blog.
ABC Collaborative Divorce Blog 
Posted on August 4, 2013
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